october blog circle: {COMFORT} + 15 ingredients that = BEST comfort food ever.

get cozy. this is a LONG one - long winded and a little transparent today...

i was sitting on my cozy couch yesterday,

a nice warm cup of coffee in hand

trying to decide just which of the many "nikki's favorite things"

to write about for this month's blog circle -

the theme: comfort.

so many things that bring me comfort and calm

came to mind with immediacy:

story time with my three boys,

worship on sunday mornings,

a handwritten note from the hub,

a smile from one of my favorite boys,

a phone call to my mom, my mother-in-law or my sisters,

my favorite tea,

my favorite soup,

a nice long walk,

a beautifully written book,

a brick of cheese (yes, a brick) +

a super size glass of red wine,

sunset magazine,

the photos scattered on the walls of my home,
five minutes in an anthropologie store,

a chunky warm scarf,

am awesome chat with an awesome friend,

or - lets be really real - a slice of heaven {aka lemon loaf}.

i wondered...which amazing, wonderful + comforting someTHING should i write about?

and then i happened to glance over at my facebook feed.

i saw a photo of my beautiful mother - a smile on her face

and i knew exactly what

amazing, wonderful + comforting someONE to write about.

when my mother welcomed my

twin brothers into the world,

she had four other children already at home:

a tweenage son, two nearly pre-teen daughters

and a two year old!

(and i cannot even imagine having a third!!!!)

over the years of

sleepless nights,

skinned knees,

chicken pox,

fevers,

flu bugs + snotty noses,

bullies,

report cards,

broken toys,

broken bones,

broken hearts...

she has, hands down become

a MASTER comforter.

in recent years

she has been here, wholeheartedly

comforting us through hurts 

that cannot be fixed with

binkies, treats or band-aids - 

she has held her children up,

held our hands and wiped our tears,

prayed for and encouraged us 

as we have faced

failed relationships,

failed jobs,

drug addiction,

miscarriage,

as we have lost loved ones

and battled illness

and faced so many other trials...

my mother has been a rock, helping me get

through one of the greatest battles i have faced.

it was during some weeks my mom and i 

spent on long walks together, training for a breast cancer 3-day walk

that i first noticed pain in many of my joints.

the pain worsened 

and additional symptoms crept in.

my mom was by my side for every appointment 

and test in the months that followed,

calming my fears.

in the thirteen years since i was diagnosed with lupus,

i cannot tell you the number of times

she has dried my tears and put a smile back on my face

or how many times she has said to me

"if i could take this pain away from you and take it upon myself,

you know i would."

my mom was the first to encourage me

and comfort away my doubts when 

i was told i may not be able to carry children -

she reminded me of my own strength and persistence

and of miracles. 

in the years since i became a mommy,

i have called on her so many times -

when ryan cannot be home

and my hands are too sore to 

change diapers and bathe babies - 

she comes to my rescue without hesitation.

when i call late at night, discouraged

that my hands feel broken,
and i have hundreds of photos to edit...

she stays on the phone with me until she can tell

that i am again smiling on the other end.  

she is a selfless, compassionate comforter.

minutes before oliver was born

my mom came into the delivery room,

kissed me on the forehead

and, with tears in her eyes,

told me how excited she was for 

me to become a mom 

and experience the greatest joy that there is.

when she thinks of motherhood,

she pays no mind to the pain that has come along with years of

comforting her children -

the trials she has faced head-on with each of us.
instead, she recalls
first smiles,
first steps,
first words,
art projects,
family game night
dance recitals,
t-ball...
the overwhelming warmth that came with
watching her children run and play
and grow and love...

she recalls joy.

when oliver was placed in my arms, 

i understood.

i understand my mom's unwavering devotion to her children.  

i understand that it is true: your heart lives with your children. 

your need and your capacity to comfort grows a million times over

when you hold your baby for the first time.

there is no pain greater than the pain you feel on behalf of your children
when they are hurting

BUT there is no greater joy than

knowing that your babies are healthy and safe and happy.

to comfort your child's heart is to comfort your own.

my mother is a pillar of strength.

always.

even on the days when she may not think she is -  

as she cries and prays over one her six (grown) babies 

as we face life's battles - 

she is strength.

 and she brings comfort to all of us. 

there are always trials.
i thank God for the incredible people in my life
who help get me through them... 

my husband, my children, my parents, my sibs, my friends

who lift me up, who fill my heart.

they bring me joy.

and comfort.

xo,

nikki

ps. - on a bit of a lighter note, 

a recipe for the BEST COMFORT FOOD EVER. 

SERIOUS. 

THE BEST:

{souper awesome}

tortellini soup 

(courtesy of a rad friend and photographer, christy pelland)

2 zucchinis cut in 1/2 inch slices

1 yellow squash cut in 1/2 inch slices

1 green pepper cut into 1 inch squares

1 red or yellow pepper (include the seeds if you like kick)

5-6 carrots chopped 

1 medium sweet onion chopped 

2 large cans whole stewed tomatoes (juice included)

1 large can tomato sauce

1 lb turkey sausage

1 lb italian pork sausage

4-5 cans low sodium beef broth

1/2 bottle of red wine

3 cloves garlic - minced

1/2 to 1 tsp. crushed red pepper 

1/2 c. unpacked chopped fresh parsley

1 family-size (20 oz) package refrigerated cheese tortellini (i like buitoni)

here's how i roll:

i begin by opening the red wine and pouring myself a glass

(so as to not be wasteful - the soup only calls for half the bottle)

next, i like to saute the onions and garlic in a bit of EVOO

and set aside.

then i brown the sausage in a large cast iron pot.

once browned, i add all other ingredients 

other than the parsley and the tortellini.

bring soup to a boil and then reduce to simmer for about an hour 

or until the veggies are at the perfect 

consistency for your liking.

bring the soup back to a low boil,

add the tortellini and parsley

and boil per the instructions for tortellini

(normally about 10 minutes?).

dish to bowls

and throw some shredded italian cheese on top for 

added comfort

(and sodium and overall deliciousness).

yum.

before you run off to the grocery store
for wine, tortellini, etc. -
sit tight and enjoy another blog post
(or many more - I encourage you to follow the circle!):
see what my super awesome friend and fellow teacher
Cheryl Bidleman has to say about COMFORT
{here}.

;)